Really Sherry, <dramatic pause> do you think these death Inc. folks are any different than any other business? Of course not! They just smile more and dress better, (never wearing checkered pants).

I’m sure they have packages, exactly like car dealerships.

Economy package★, forget the cremation and go right into the ground, 1 zillion Dollars. Will validate death certificate.

Mid-size package★★, half baked or medium well, you select choice. Plus free 100 word obit in your rag of choice. 2 zillion Dollars. Most paperwork - no charge.

Deluxe package★★★, Extra crispy, full obit in rag of choice, no paperwork & fees, cremation vase with Ventura trim, (💥 it gleams 💥). 3 zillion Dollars.

Super Deluxe Pro Package😀😀😀😀😀, No muss no fuss and most importantly NO THINKING! It’s all done from your last breath to your resurrection in ‘The Good Place’. You chose, cremation or endless freezing, optional: freezer burn. No charge. Annual newsy (kind like an ad sorta) postings of embellishment reminders in your rag of choice regarding your obvious importance. No one could forget you even if they wanted to. 5 zillion Dollars.

Our death packages do not discriminate in any way including from the rich to the poor. Visit us today at ♰Death In Paradise♰ or call 555-555-5555 where you will always receive a live wire.