“Much like the flaccid penis we’re shaped like”

This calls for a state by state comparison and btw Apalachicola looks like a ball sack at 10 below. I’m thinking of Flawrida vs. Wisconsin.

Our city chambers brag that we have the air-conditioned cities of the nawrth, but this roughly translates to, Guns, Ammo, and Color TV, we have the billboards to prove it! Our manly men look like the guy on the Brawny paper towel products, (moment of digression: I’ve switched to Bounty since Brawny paper towels have completely gone off the rails shrinking sizes for the same price, bye-bye!) in fact we all wear the same plaid shirts as Mr. Brawny, with our ubiquitous blue jeans, and our women, ….. , wait a minute, you say there are women? Hmm, what a concept! Anyway, we are one stroke away from besting Idaho.

There are no speedos running around up here! Further, there are no pole dancers either, that would be like sticking a tongue on metal at 10 below. I guess the only women I’ve noticed was one that kind of looked like your Maw in high summer selling seashells by the lakeshore to Illinois suckers, later she packs up and heads back south for the great white nawrthurn winter.

Here’s a pro tip for you’ all Flawridians: Next general election (2020) day, go around and turn off all the air conditioners and see what happens.