Maybe if I was independently wealthy and flying 1st class into Dubai on some swank middle eastern airline, but going coach anywhere? No effing way!

Considering the percentages does this mean if I brought along one of those CSI blacklights inside the plane that it would look like some kind of silly string party was ongoing? OMFG! TMI.

“I’ll whack you upside the head with the in-flight magazine”.

Considering the lifetime of those mags they could be calcified or fossilized by the time of use. Ouch!

Finally, I have enough problems navigating airplane bathrooms, just going in and rotating and bending over without bodily injury is a task, and then we have bouncy sex with 2 people in the same stainless lockup. OMG! It’s impossible, right?