It’s Wednesday, formerly known as hump day, in D.C. the residuals of the latest Trump shit show is probably beginning to wind down, I’m an old white grandpa who purposely avoids mobile anything, cause it doesn’t make any kind of sense to me unless the phone actually rings upon which I know 9 out of 10 that ring is some kind of spam. What does it all mean? It means it’s time for a responder lister!

5 extra replacement titles for this story:

#5. The land of delusional mobile.

#4. On medium, murder is okay as long as the vic is someone attempting to post any kind of self-help piece, like making tons of cash in one week or where to stick a comma, or any kind of writing b.s.

#3. Re:# “4. The marketing tool”: Mobile is marketing. From file to shining file. (sub-title: The absence of editorial content).

#2. Unbelievable home helper tips & tricks. (the “last bit of Skippy peanut butter” was yesterday’s issue here in burblandia. Pro tip: Use a spatula to get 99.99% of all peanut butter protein molecules out of jar. Lose the spoon.).

#1. Mobile blows past cable for coast to coast ad spam.

Excuse me, it’s time for morning gruel.