As an old retired married white guy, I just have to weigh in on this.

i. What is:

I currently use a product called ‘my natural me’ ™️ @ $99/oz. sourced in third world countries in a factory with no chairs and an extruder machine (patented) and thousands of tiny one ounce jars. When I’m done with my normal morning routine of smearing on a dab of ‘my natural me’ ™️ silly putty no one could ever tell I’ve got my new 👀 face on! Yeah baby!

ii. What my friends know:

I’ve also know a friend that’s making millions on something called rocks and goop. Don’t know what it does but, who cares, it makes millions!

iii. What could have been:

Unfortunately, 1-200,000 + yrs. ago or so the poor neanderthals lost out in some Darwinian race-o-thon and we were left or stuck with some naked ape species. Too bad now we’ve got some 7 + billion naked apes running around wasting hours on some everyday cover-up. What a mess, lucky modern technology has stepped into the breach to provide us with tons of pricy cover-up products.